it wasn't lemon gatorade
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
