Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
