Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize