this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
