There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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