yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
