Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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