dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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