There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
