you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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