Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
