nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize