well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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