home. puking in laundry basket.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
