when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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