Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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