you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
