Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
