dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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