so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
