That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
