2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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