Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
