This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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