I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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