Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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