If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
