i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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