Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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