I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
