I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
