Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
