Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
