Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I want to have your abortion
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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