of course. lets lasso hookers.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
