I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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