oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
