if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize