So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize