I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
