Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
