Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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