There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I still have a little drunk in my system
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
