I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i love accidental penises.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
