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Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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