I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
