Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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