Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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