I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
