i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
