Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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