People in love make me want to vomit
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
