I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
