And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
