We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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