Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
