I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His nipple licking is glorious
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