I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
