So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
