tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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