whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
