Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
