I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
