like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
