Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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