talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
